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[Dec. 11th, 2007|09:44 pm] |
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the ups and downs are killing me. i need a vacation |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|07:30 pm] |
i hate the time period right before something crucial happens between a guy and a girl. it's so nerve racking, expecially because it could go way up or way down. hopefully, mine will be going up. cuz, let's face it, this is the perfect guy for me. he has so many advantages, that i just happen to feel compelled to list:
1. easy to talk to/a lot of things in common
2. going to lycoming most likely, so i wont need to worry about him graduating
3. we work at the same place
4. sooo nice
5. i'm getting the "i wanna bun" vibe
6. won't JUST talk about music...i hope
7. innocent
8. doesn't seem judgemental to my opinions or weird stories
9. he ISN'T a RACIST or looks like JESUS
10. he SEEMS interested
honestly, the only disadvantages are that he might have a slight temper, oh and, once again, idk if he's off limits. ugh. i really just hope things go well. i could use a companion, that likes to bun. hmmm
so most years valentine's day is like pure hell, but for some reason, i think i'm going to enjoy being angsty on the evil holiday. i think i'm used to it by now. so YAY for angst on valentine's day! |
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[Jan. 15th, 2007|12:11 pm] |
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and then there's this boy. but idk if he's off limits. oh and he doesn't look a THING like jesus :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|07:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "momentum" by the hush sound | ] |
first post in a LONG time, idk what's up with me, the words just havent been coming out lately. i've attempted writing posts, but i always get discouraged and quit. which, btw, hasnt been the only thing i've become discouraged and quit at lately. for one, i've come to the conclusion that the softball team doesnt need me, cuz oh yeah, i'm HORRIBLE. so why even go to the practices? ya got me. oh and becoming a goldsmith? yea realized i'm not too good at that either. dont get me wrong, it's not my effort that's lacking, i just crack under pressure. my family decided that i would make my mom a necklace for christmas this year, so she could go up to her friends and be like "yea emily made this" well i fucked it up. hopefully my next attempt wont be as bad, but who knows. i cant handle pressure. i need to do things on my own terms, not everyone elses. speaking of work, i really dont know what to make of it anymore. first of all, remember how i didnt get paid for three monthes when i first started there? well we have a new goldsmith, one of the employer's sons who goes to the high school, and he's a really nice guy but HE DIDNT HAVE TO WAIT THREE MONTHES TO GET PAID! wtf?! life's so unfair sometimes. honestly, i think they only keep me around cuz they think i'm funny. which i have no problem with but sometimes i just want to be TAUGHT how to improve my skill instead of cracking a joke. and, they arent having me work all christmas break, which is NOT bad w/ me, but it makes me wonder if they even care if i'm there. i havent done nething too fucked up to get fired, so should i just keep coasting on my minimum wage while i can? i guess so.
on a happier note, christmas is around the corner! i love christmas time, waking up on the couch to the lights on our beautifully decorated tree, buying presents for my parents, baking cookies. ugh this is probably the most cliche season in the world, but it makes me happy so who cares. ugh and i HATE people who think christmas is soooo commercial blah blah blah, they can just shuvit, nobody made u celebrate this holiday and get presents so boo those whores! and probably the BIGGEST christmas present that might be achieved.... GETTING MY LICENSE! i'm so freakin excited, but at the same time i'm kinda sad cuz i'll probably fail, oh and my dad doesnt think i should get the car whenever he isnt using. y? because he is a nazi dad and needs to calm the hell down. he's always like, "you need more experience", well, dad, how am i suppose to get experience IF I CANT DRIVE?? hmmm? neways, i cant wait until it's just me and the car and a good cd, driving around town just driving w/o anywhere to go, it'll be so great.
we were talking about what we could do instead of going to college after high school in my english class today. i decided that i NEED a road trip. i LONG LONG road trip, idc who comes, idc where i go, but i need to go somewhere. idt i could handle college w/o being on my own, or at least away from my parents for a while. hopefully i will go on a road trip soon, i need an elizabethtown experience asap.
as for the boy circuit, i've kinda given up on that as well. i'll find ass sometime, but for now i'm just trying to concentrate on more important things, like having fun. that is unlessu guys can hook me up with anyone, i'm not desperate but i'm definetly game.
hmm that's the end of my long ass post, hope you enjoyed it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|08:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | regina spektor | ] |
the constant busy work i'm doing is getting old. all i ever do is stuff for my future, whether it's homework, marc's, tutoring, etc. i need to find time for myself, for the PRESENT. time where i can just chill after school and watch a movie, or go on a walk, SOMETHING. life should not be like this. life should be about being happy and having fun. lately i havent been able to sit down and look around at all to notice whether or not i'm happy. i feel like the energizer battery bunny..i keep GOING and GOING and GOING. and does the bunny ever stop? NO! i have a drawing project due for hock friday, and i've barely even started it. besides, when the HELL did hock get so picky about sketches?! uck i need a break. a LONG and FUN break.
oh yeah, and i'm completely broke. the raise marc williams promised me after the summer NEVER HAPPENED. and i keep taking off work for random things, i think they're getting pissed. and now everytime i get a pay check its gone in like 3 days. i NEED to stop ordering things, i seriously think i have a problem. i owe my mom about $200, and i'm suppose to be saving up for college. but clothes and whatnot just are so MUCH MORE appealing compared to "saving up for college." is there like a money managing class? i think i'll try accounting or something when i'm a senior
and on top of everything else, andrew and now joe? are WAY TOO confusing. i'm really trying to be nice to andrew, i swear. it's just hard when everything that comes out of his mouth is mindless dribble. i know i should try something but its so hard to really feel passionate for someone i barely see/talk to. and joe?! he's suddenly into me again? well, let's put it this way, i think he want my hott hunking body. HAHA. wtf, make up your mind. i cant handle another joe issue unless he's SERIOUS and COMMITTED, somewhat. our conversations are so amazing, but do they ever go past the internet... NO hes either a total pussy or i'm completely obnoxious in person. hmph.
by the way, regina spektor is amazing even if her songs seem a little obnoxious. i LOVE them! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|11:15 pm] |
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Sorry, my livejournal is friends only. comment to be added. |
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